Deep

[monologue] 

“I’M NOT GAY! You see, 

I’m straight but not narrow. I’m not a lesbian, I’m not bisexual, I’m just a straight woman who can appreciate the beauty of other women. 

I only into a relationship with another woman because …we were best friends! Obviously a one-time thing. 

I mean I’ve been attracted to other women, but those are ‘girl crushes’. All girls have those. 

Plus it’s college, we’re supposed to experiment, YOLO.” 

Yeah…I was DEEP in the closet. Cobwebs deep. Old sneakers deep. But that’s what I told myself all of freshman year. I actually rationalized myself into being straight. 

If I could go back, I’d like to tell my first year self that it’s ok to be attracted to other women. It’s fine. It doesn’t make you a bad person. 

I’d like to tell her that those people who judged her for who she was attracted to or who she was dating... “Fuck this shit” is what she needs to say to those people. 

I’d like to tell her that for those other people who matter, sexuality won’t be the only way they’d see her. They’d see that she’s also a sister, a daughter, a student, a researcher, a friend, a million different things. 

I’m not narrow. I am definitely not straight. But I am me. 

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Written by unknown, found in the 2016 script