This Is NOT A Monologue About Sex

[monologue] 

I think I have this sort of idea that may or may not be true: Everybody goes to parties, grinds on each other, and is looking for someone to hook up with... I know not everyone is participating in that but that’s what it feels like. In college... people talk about sex all the time, and I don’t really mind, I’m pretty open about talking about sex but it can be kind of weird because I feel disconnected from all that. 

I don't drink and I’m not a big partier but also I think there will be a big sexual feeling that I don't know people will be dancing like too close and stuff like that. It’s that sort of idea that I just want to avoid anything that's kind of sexual in nature like that. I went and saw This Is Not A Play About Sex with my friends, and like I really enjoyed it but I didn’t feel like, I didn’t really see myself in the characters, the people that were being portrayed. Like I think sex positivity stuff is really important, but at the same time, I don’t really... I’m asexual and I don’t really want to have sex. I know this is like not a play about sex but it is a play about sex and yeah that’s where I stood by the end of it. It seemed like everyone was having sex, everybody had something to say about sex. Everyone was experiencing it or thinking about it and, like, I kind of do but it's not the same. I use the word asexual sort of, I don’t feel sexual attraction so I don't see anyone and say “I wanna have sex with them” basically. Which is different from romantic attraction where I could see myself in a romantic relationship but just not a sexual one. Personally, I’m sort of like sex averse where I don’t want to have sex and I just don't like that idea of like engaging in it with someone else, which is not to say all asexual people are sex averse, but that's how I feel. I think I came across the label in junior or senior year of high school. I was looking on the internet, and I came across it and just as my friends started getting interested in sex and that sort of thing and I was just like “um nope,” and then when I found the word it was just like “yeah, that’s kind of how I feel, so that’s sort of where I am now.” I do masturbate. It’s like, “I do me, you do you, we don't do each other,” is the thing. I enjoy it, I just don't want someone else involved. 

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Written by unknown, found in the 2020 script