Understood

When it comes to dating, like pretty much everything else on this campus, Colgate is very… segregated... racially. 

I mean it’s all White people dating White people and Black people dating Black people…

(pause)

I’ve seen maybe… a few exceptions to that? But for the most part, it’s like some invisible rule you have to follow. It’s not like it’s spelled out or policed or anything, I don’t even think other people would admit it if you asked them, definitely not the White people. 

But there’s a reason we all cling to each other, you know. We’re all so worried about being accepted… and being understood. We search for that feeling everywhere, in people we’re close to. And everything else like hook-ups and all of that is just to distract us from how hard that is to find. 

I don’t feel understood… I don’t even understand myself. Sometimes I think the problem is me, I mean, I work hard to be social and outgoing. 

And still, I never get approached by anyone. Guys or girls. White or Black. 

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just not Black enough? I’m definitely not White enough, I mean, look at me, but I don’t know. I act too White for Black people; I’m too Black for White people. Either way, it feels like I’m in the wrong body. 

With dating though, race doesn’t even matter to me. Hell, I’m already minoritized- if I tried to avoid White people on this campus, I think I’d lose my mind.

But… if I did have the chance, I know I could make it work. It all comes down to empathy. No one’s purely one thing or another, good or bad. And when it’s my turn, I know I’ll be able to understand. Even if it’s a White person.

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Written by Parna Shakouri '23 and Reem Numan '26, first performed 2023