Vag-ographies & Tit-torials

[conversation among 3 characters] 

1: I love her, she’s wonderful. I check in with her almost daily. Sometimes she just needs a good scratch. 

2: I’d say we’re still getting to know each other. Maybe distant cousins? Second cousins? 

3: mine’s aggressive. Really aggressive. Sometimes she’s like “come on, it’s go time” and I’m like “whoa calm down, I have work to do tonight”. 

2: if she could talk she would probably say something like “pay more attention to me, uncross your legs, take off these clothes, feed me, STOP IGNORING ME” 

1: before I discovered lube, mine would probably say something about not liking sex very much… 

3: lube is a gift from god. Seriously. Mine would say a lot of dirty things, and do dirty things. She’s a lot more kinky than I am. I’m very reserved. 

1: if it could travel it would want to go somewhere near the ocean 3: definitely India to learn the Kama Sutra 

2: uh I don’t know. Somewhere tropical... Foreign. Far away, distant and exotic…  Mexico. 

1: if it could listen to music it would like hip hop 

3: definitely boo-time music, R&B. You know, baby making music. A little bow chika wow wow. 

2: uh… dub step? 

1: I like the fuzziness of mine. You know how men stick their hands in their pants all the time? I do too. Sometimes it leaps, or twinges, and it’s such a funny, secret moment I have with myself. 

3: mine kind of likes being clean shaven. Or waxed. It makes her feel good.

2: there’s so much maintenance involved! Do I keep it? Do I wax it all off? Is it clean? Doesit look nice? Does it smell fine? Am I going to get a UTI? Is my period on time? Ahhh! 

1: At some point I just decided I wasn’t going to have sex with people who weren’t comfortable with at least a little hair. I don’t want to go completely bare, I feel like I look like a 5 year old. I’m 21, not 5. 

2: for some reason having hair down there makes me shy. It keeps me reined in. I’m not sure why. I used to be shy about my nipples, too. I guess no one’s nipples are conventional but mine are a little different. I have a nipple ring on one and two hairs on the other one – does anyone else have that? – it’s really strange. I’m not sure why they’re there …but I think they’re kind of cool, cuz no matter how much I pluck them they keep growing back. So I see them as resilient, like myself.

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Written by unknown, found in 2016 script