Why Should I Care?

You’re probably sitting here wondering “What is This Is Not a Play About Sex?”

“Established in 2013…” I mean that’s practically antiquity by now. Why care about a decade-old student project? Why care about something that everyone forgot when the pandemic started and hasn’t cared about since? 

I get it, I really do. I used to think like that, not just about TINAPAS but about everything. About sex, sexuality, sexual assault, and all of the other things you learn about in those pamphlets. The ones they give you during orientation and you never look at again. I mean... I never looked at them again. 

I do remember them though. I remember it like yesterday, being a freshman sitting at Haven listening to someone talk about the Red Zone and how X many people are gonna experience this and that. I remember looking over at her, my best friend but neither of us knew it at the time. I remember not paying attention and then laughing at something utterly unimportant. Then locking eyes with this guy across the room. He smiled and I repeated the joke again so he could laugh with us. 

We got a dirty look from the speaker, which I thought nothing of at the time. I mean… it’s not like that type of thing was going to happen to me. It didn’t matter what percentage of people would be affected, these are things that happen to other people. 

You think that and then the next thing you know it’s 6 weeks later. You’re in the same room but you’re a different person. And you see that same guy in class or at Frank, but he’s a different person. I hold my breath and hope I don’t brush against him in a narrow hallway or that the random girl I’m walking with from physics class doesn’t notice the tension. 

I ask myself why. If it was my fault. If I shouldn’t have been making jokes I can’t even remember. If I should have listened when they asked me to pay attention, when they were telling us about these kinds of things; when I was being warned. Would that really have changed anything? 

I mean forgive me for not taking it as a premonition! He was there too, where was his lesson? I mean… 

(pause) 

Was there a lesson on how you shouldn’t be assaulting people…? 

I guess I really wouldn’t remember. Like I said, I wasn’t paying attention.

---

Written by Parna Shakouri '23, first performed 2023